Ghetto Golf Newcastle

Ghetto Golf Newcastle

What if I was to tell you that an adults only, 18+ crazy golf centre had opened in Newcastle – would you be in to it? Ghetto Golf Newcastle has landed and it is not for the faint of heart.

As a warning now – I won’t lavish you with pictures of the interior because I think Ghetto Golf Newcastle really deserves to be kept a surprise for you when you arrive!

Taking over an unused warehouse space in Hoults Yard to the east of Newcastle City Centre, every single inch of the space has been transformed and styled. No corner has been left out.

Ghetto Golf Newcastle

With a timed slot for arrival, you can relax in the graffiti’d bar prior to starting your 18 hole game of golfing carnage.

At £10 per person, your game at Ghetto Golf Newcastle will take around an hour but if there’s more in your group or you are behind a group it may take longer.

We were stuck behind a group of drunk ladies (at 11am) and it took forever for them all to take their selfies and then take their shots but we filled in our own time by taking photos of all the scenery at each hole. Just be prepared to wait if you are an impatient pat!

Ghetto Golf Newcastle

With holes at Ghetto Golf Newcastle ranging from tame and mild to downright filthy (in more ways than one), there’s something to entertain at each turn.

Ghetto Golf Newcastle

You do need to have a certain sense of humour or open mindedness to visit Ghetto Golf Newcastle. If you are unsure if your Mam or that quiet person in your office will like it – for god sake check Instagram first. That’s all I’m saying!

I have the sense of humour of a smutty teenage boy so I thought it was brilliant.

Ghetto Golf Newcastle

We visited after the furore of launch and blogger events and were surprised to see bits of the sets were looking worn and broken already but i’m sure they’ll be fixed back up to keep getting those Instagram-worthy selfies.

Ghetto Golf Newcastle

We thoroughly enjoyed our visit and were definitely pleased by the dip out points where you can make a bee line to the bar for another drink as some of the bars dotted round the course weren’t open at that time.

After an hour long giggling session and feeling like we were in a UV rave, we called it quits (I won!) and headed to Apocolypse Cow for food.

Serving a delicious but compact menu, the food is just what you need for finishing off a fun game of golf.

Salt + Pepper Chicken Fries

My recommendation is to grab an early slot at Ghetto Golf Newcastle then stay for food and a couple of cocktails afterwards to just soak up the attention to detail as there will be bits you have missed. Oh and wear flat shoes!!!


  1. 12th September 2019 / 12:13 pm

    It is nice to read a review from an actual customer, it sounds like fun and I think I need to visit with the girls sometime as it will make a nice change from just sitting in a bar or having a meal x

    • Katie
      12th September 2019 / 12:47 pm

      Yes, I definitely avoided all the blogger free visit reviews before forming my own opinion.

      It’s funny but definitely an acquired taste!

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