Ding Dong….. but are the bells going to chime?

It’s rapidly approaching my 4th wedding anniversary (and our 9th year together) and it’s got me thinking, which makes a pleasant change from my usual vacuous state eh?!
Is marriage just a big jolly day out? Your wedding day is always referred to as the biggest day of your life. But is marriage an outdated institution in the 21st century or is it still relevant in today’s society? 
It’s the classic happy ending of every story, regardless of the medium, on paper, on the big screen, heavily lit on a west end stage or in an idle day dream while sitting on the 25a bus home.
The presiding message is that love is completed by marriage… and then followed by babies and the rest of your life together until the day you both check out.
Does anyone stop to think what happens at the end of the happy ending? What happens in the after part of happily ever after? No, I suspect not. It’s just an excuse for a big (and heinously expensive) family party. Would it not be cheaper to just have a big house party of hire out the local working men’s club?!!
But what happens after the happy ever after? Is marriage actually any more than just a nice day out for family and friends these days? 
When you turn on the telly or open a glossy magazine, the people pioneering this happily ending jolly wedded bliss only seem to last as long as it takes for the ink to dry on their Hello Magazine exclusive or the scabs to heal on their latest tattoo declaring their love. (Do you Remember Johnny Depps Wino Forever debacle or Angelina Jolie’s Billy Bob tattoo removal?)
Take for example, off the top of my head, Avril & Deryck, Chantelle & Preston or Cheryl and Ashley.
Standing there in your silly frock, in the eyes of the Lord / Law (depends what your flavour is), does ‘til death do us part’ really only mean “until I get bored, you get baby fat, take up golf, get a beer belly, I’ve spent all our money or we’ve had a small fight over the dishes”? If so, what’s the point in bothering in the first place eh?!
In a 2001 survey, marriage hit an all time low on a sweeping decline that started waaaaaaay back in the late 1890s!!  Over 1/3 of people surveyed believed marriage was an outdated institution.
It was also found the average age of men for getting married is 35 and for women it is 33
Marriage was originally set up as a business transaction moving the bride from one family to another, usually at great profit or value (think of dowries).
In days of yore, it bound the woman to the man with financial obligations, attaching her to her husband’s side, her only value and use was running a house hold, having his babies and making their new family unit. Back then, I suspect divorce did not exist as a man owned his wife, and if she wanted to leave she’d have no support, money or even a hope of doing so. Imagine how scary that would be if it was still the case. It’s not the case though thankfully and women are just as free as men, so in theory if women (both partners in fact) have the choice to leave, does this not render the concept of marriage as out dated?
In a quote from an article on Social Science from a Midlands University : 
‘Historically, the decline of religion is an important factor for the majority of the population. The idea of a union blessed by God with a spiritual element to it has decreased dramatically.’ 
In the current day and age it seems buying a house, getting a dog, booking a holiday in advance, getting shared car finance and ultimately having a baby are ‘the new black’…. the new terms of commitment over taking the concept or marriage.
My personal view on marriage  is that if you were truly committed to someone, love them and want to share the rest of your life with them, then you don’t need a ring and a ceremony and a piece of paper. 
Yes marriage gives financial security to couples should a split occur or children come along, but just because you’re married, it doesn’t seem to mean you’re together forever.
Hell, I never had those day dreams that most girls have in their childhood of the big fairy princess wedding, the big white poofy dress and my prince charming proposing on one knee. For reference… I always wanted a bad boy like Johnny Castle to stand up to my dad and say no one puts Katie in a corner and then we all have a jolly big dance party.. but you can see I wasn’t the normal stereotypical little girl and I don’t think the Wife could lift me over his head in a sweeping lift LOL
I got married at 23 but prior to that I didn’t see the point. It’s just a piece of paper and a metal ring isn’t it? I never thought I’d find someone I could tolerate for long enough, or love enough to consider marrying.
That all changed when he proposed. That was it, I enjoyed the traditional sense of commitment and pride that he did want to join with me in that “life long” unity. Although it took us 5yr to actually marry, I have no regrets for nodding to such an ‘archaic tradition’ as it really does feel forever and that’s how I intend to keep it. I will say I don’t need a small puce screaming bag of vomit to cement that bond. My shiny diamond ring and 3 cats will more than suffice!!!
My parents have a strong (and long) marriage so I have a good experience of the married world, but the wife comes from a divorced family. I don’t know if that has had an effect on his sense of commitment and made him want to get married to have the solid loving relationship his parents never had or give him the impression that marriage is something you can walk away from when you’re sick of putting the effort in to make your partner happy, I don’t know… but if he hadn’t proposed, I’d really like to believe we’d still be together which is nicely reassuring.
This said, many folk are together long term without needing to get married (like Ma & Pa Larkin from darling buds of may!!), if that works for you and you have your own forms of commitment then hats off to you. It’s a modern day concept of ‘marriage’ isn’t it, the words and attitudes change but at the end of the day, it’s still long term commitment… which is what marriage is.
Most people do believe in having a soul mate, one person that is so perfect for them that no one else could compare, and while at least one person out there still believes in marriage, I don’t think its something that will die out.

The Lion, the witch and the big ass cupboard

Most of my spare bedroom is dedicated to my love of handbags and amassed collection of surplus beauty supplies.

As it has been such a dreadful rainy day I decided to have a shopping trip to my big cupboard if tricks in the room.

In it I managed to find some colour depositing shampoo, a brunette shampoo, a breakage defence lotion, some conditioning paste and a shine oil spray. Talk about win or what?

I have washed my newly primped hair in Trevor Sorbie Brunette Shampoo, admittedly it was in the previous packaging incarnation (its been that long since i was brown) and then followed it up with a nice buttery dose of John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Conditioner.

As an extra dose of moisture and repair, I followed the instructions on Pantene Breakage Defence Lotion as a final treat.

Once it’s dry I will be using Body Shop Coconut Hair Shine which is great for smoothing over flyaways and dry ends as a more natural serum alternative. Smells nommy too!  For super sleek updo’s I will be using Proclaim Glossing Polish. Now I have found this to be predominately to be used by ladies with afro hair but as its a silicone based product, it doesn’t do any thing other than make it look shiny. On caucasian hair there is a very very fine line between the right amount and too much. It makes your hair like an oil slick if you go too much. Great for an up do when you don’t need it down and looking clean…. if you get my drift?

This should tide me over nicely until my Bonacure treatment and my Wella Lifetex. EEEE I’m so impatiant I want it to arrive now, i’m super excited!


A mini make up haul

I work away from home 5 days a week so I often find myself trawling round the beauty aisles of whatever shop I can find nearby.  Thursday night it was Superdrug’s turn here in Seacroft, Leeds.

I was initially after some Sleek! Compacts but this branch didn’t carry the line. Determined not to go home empty handed I stocked up on 4 eye shadows from the MUA Make Up Academy range.
I am unsure if they were on special offer or not but I paid £1 per shadow and I am very impressed for such a “budget” item.

  Above : Shade 1 – Pearl, Shade 3 – Pearl, Shade 10 – Pearl & Shade 20 – Matt

The shades don’t have names, just numbers but it does list what kind of finish they have with it, Matt, Pearl etc. They are really quite highly pigmented and have a nice soft smooth finish once on the skin that doesn’t drag as it’s going over the lid, it has a nice amount of slip whether using finger foam pad or brush.
Swatched on my hand, maybe they don’t look as vivid as they would on a paler skin, I’ve just got back from Africa so I’m pretty tanned. I could always see how they compare on my husbands pasty white hand (yes, he went on hol too, but came back lily white!)

I gave them a quick wipe off with my other hand and the residual pigmentation is quite good on all but the pearly white, but as i’d be using it as a highlighter i’m not too fussed on that. Good that the darker colours impart some colour after a quick rub though. 
I chose these colours as I love the grey smoky eye look but I don’t want to lug my good MAC make up around when I’m on the road so something cheap is easier to replace.
I’m not disappointed at all!! Really good quality for £1, and no ill effect on my super sensitive eyes either!

I gave them a quick trial on my eye as soon as I got them and I was impressed, going to give them a full work out this morning before I go out. I will post the look later on.

This brings me on to my quest for false eyelashes. I am after some that look long and full, but not too OTT for day time wear. I already have quite long lashes (they lack some lustre though) so fake ones need to be really quite long to make an impact. As my sensitive skin is the bane of my cosmetic life, I often struggle with mascaras that don’t burn. Strangely I have no problem with lash glue so it’s sometimes easier to just flick a pair of lashes on for some impact instead of going without mascara.

I tried the ones below for just less than £5.

I will post up some before and after shots later once I have done my grey eye look.

I also tried the 2TRUE lashes for £1.99 thinking they might be quite good, trying to be optimistic… 
I was wrong. They were so terrible I took them off and put them straight back in the box never to be used again! No further review or pictures, just terrible! The glue was good though so I paid £1.99 for some spare glue LOL
Off to get ready and do an Eye of the day look (EOTD)


Feeeeed me…..

….. Is what my hair would say if it had a voice. I imagine my hair would have quite a deep northern voice, a bit like Ross Noble.

On the eternal quest for long shiny hair, and a scolding from my lovely hairdresser, I have trawled my bathroom cupboards (where the beauty magic happens) to see just how many suitable goodies I have.

After buying just about every single deep conditioner and repairer both Boots and Superdrug sell, I have hit upon a great ‘deep conditioner’ that I like to use a couple times a week. I use the  Herbal Essence Beautiful Ends conditioner every time I wash my hair and then every other wash I treat it with this Beautiful Ends Intensive Mask. It gaves a great silky finish and doesnt weigh my hair down or leave it with that greasy filmy feel to it.

After washing and conditioning / treating, I always follow up with a great big spray dose of  Elvive Colour Protect Conditioning Spray which is brilliant. It smells like holidays and helps my hair retain moisture and not go quite as frizzy straw like.

I’m a big fan of high street brands but i’ve got to the point where I have not found the perfect conditioner. 

Having super pale blonde hair, not only the conditioning is important, using a good colour enhancer is vital! Again, after trying just about everything the highstreet has to offer (twice just to be sure LOL ) I found this in my local teeny tiny Boots store. I think it’s aimed at little old ladies with grey hair but the Touch of Silver Shampoo  is absolutely amazing at zapping those pesky stray yellow and gold tones and cools hair right down. I would marry this shampoo if possible !!!

So now, my search continues for a colour depositing shampoo with imparts some brown dye, to counterbalance any ashyness that may arise from washing and a new super thick nourishing repairing conditioning mask. I have a couple of recommendations so I will update as soon as I have given them a whirl!!



So long to Sandra Dee …..


I’m a HUGE grease fan and I’m feeling ever so Sandy today as I’m saying bye bye to my mega blonde and toning it down… in fact, maybe I’m going in reverse, from the spandex clad hotty (I wish), to the poodle skirt wearing plain? Now there’s a thought.

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