Review : LUSH Dream Cream


I happened upon this body lotion by accident! I had a scary bad reaction to a sample of their Angles On Bare Skin and due to being so freaked out I emailed their customer service to let them know how severe it had been.

The customer service was fab and within a couple of days I had in my hands a lovely complimentary gift box of ‘soothing’ items to try.

Well after literally being burnt by Lush before I decided not to subject my face and delicate skin again and have not used any of the items I was sent except for the Dream Cream lotion.



I find the smell of most Lush items very off-putting which is why I have never bought anything to use on myself (except my lip scrub!) but the smell of this lotion was reasonably tolerable so I thought I’d go in for a little swatch on my hand to see how I fared. The cream soaked in evenly and was nice and thick and did indeed feel soothing. After an hour my skin looked as God intended it so I slathered some cream on to my scaly dry elbows, the dry skin sucked the cream up like there was no tomorrow!

I’m quite excited to be able to wear this lotion but I do n’t think I’ll over do it as I was more conscious of the smell when it was loaded on both arms. Early days but my elbows feel better already!

Watch this space!!!

Review : Aussie Take the heat leave in spray


I am a great fan of Aussies line of 3 minute miracles and their super human conditioning powers but the smell always puts me off reaching for my bottles unless I absolutely need to. I love how the smell does actually linger in the hair, can’t fault it for that, its just a little too over powering for me.

Whilst on my mission to get my hair back to tip top peak condition I picked this spray up in Boots to give my current heat protection / leave in conditioner combo an extra boost.

The first thing that hits me about this dinky little spray is the smell! It smells deliciously fruity and fresh which I absolutely love. It’s light and delicate without being cloying.

The smell really is amazing and my favourite thing about this whole product! Who cares what other magic it can work as long as it smells this good!

I use the Aussie spray when my hair is towel dry with a liberal spritz over the mid to ends and on my fringe as these are the areas that take the most abuse.

My hair dries to a beautiful slinky finish and I’m convinced I don’t need to work the hair as much with my straighteners / dryer to get the desired effect but that could be my imagination!

I haven’t noticed a massive improvement because I don’t heat style my hair every day but when I do use this spray there is a noticeable difference to the hair texture and condition.

This is a brilliant product for its price and I’d definitely re-purchase it when it runs out.

Question is, do I want to try the rest of the Take the Heat range? Or stick with my SLS free current choice? Decisions!

November was growvember

I’ve just noticed this sitting in my drafts so I suppose I’d better post it now… better late than never right?On my ongoing journey to shiny lovely long hair, I promised myself i’d treat my hair nicely.

 
It’s been going well since October. So much so, the mother even commented! Huzzah!
 
It’s a continual quest to find those perfect products but this month I have hit on a few jack pot items.
 
 
I am absolutely loving the Herbal Essence’s Ignite My Colour shampoo and conditioner (currently on offer in Boots). It gives a very gentle ‘squeaky clean’ feel that my oily hair loves and the conditioner has left my hair slinky soft, frizz free and the colour is actually looking rich still. I’m a big fan of the HE range and I used to sing the praises of the Hello Hydration blue set as it was the only thing i’d use on my previous platinum hair.
 
After washing and towel drying I am (still) using my Pantene Breakage Defence lotion. I’m not entirely convinced this has done any great benefit to my hair, but until I run out I might as well continue to use it as it certainly isn’t doing any harm. I wouldn’t recommend or re-buy this though.
 
Before heat styling, I have just started using Aussie’s Take the Heat leave in spray. This leave in protectant doesn’t have that usual cloying Aussie aroma. This is light, fruity and fresh. The scent stays all day but isn’t over powering.  A few light mists is all this needs, but I would recommend combing through before and after to further distribute the product.
If i’m going for a power blow dry or just feel like a bit of oomphy oomph then I give my roots and crown a good hearty dose of John Frieda’s Luxurious Volume. Smells a bit astringent but great hold and lift.
Next, I’ve been using a product that has been recommended to me by friends from across the pond. It’s FHI’s Hot Sauce. I’ve heard nothing but good things about this stuff. My bottle looks like an oversized bottle of Tabasco! WIN! Only used it a few times but it soaks right in to the driest parts of my hair that need the most protecting. It doesn’t leave the rest oily which is a great bonus. I think I will revisit this in a few weeks for a better review.
 
After all this, I found my usual serum, that was thick and heavy and perfect for my platinum frizz, was a bit too heavy for my almost healthy hair. Due to a pricing fluke in Boots I am currently using the Umberto Giannini Curl Friends Anti Frizz Serum. It is nice and lightweight. It tames down the frizzles and keeps the layers sleek without it being too heavy. Great product but I cant find it on the Boots or U.G website.
 
 
I’ve also just ordered myself some Sallys Curl Formers so I am super excited for them to arrive. I have naturally quite curly hair and I dont want to use heat to encourage those neat curls so these should be perfect.
 
I have also just bought myself a Babyliss Big Hair Styler. I will wash my hair tonight and give it a shot… will report back!
 
Trampy 

  XXX

As Britney once said… you’re toxic…..


I can’t be the only one that has experienced this, undesirable toxic folk just suddenly reappearing out of nowhere and bursting back on to the scene.

I seem to be particularly prone to the “attack of the toxic friend”



I’m going to campaign that all new friends must provide an honest CV with reviews of their friending capabilities, you know, to sort the wheat from the chaff, or wear a badge saying ‘wahey, I’m shit me’

Considering mental destructive toxic friends are not that easy to spot, is it better to be forewarned and forearmed?

It’s clear that some people present themselves as TF’s (see what I did there, Toxic Friends) from the start while others slowly devolve in to TFs either through emotional changes in their life or because of personality traits.  It’s hard to decide which is worse but I think from my personal experience it’s the devolvers that hurt the most.

In the forewarned is forearmed vein, if you know your friend is  TF from the start, you can handle them in a much simpler manner than when your BFF suddenly turns toxic. The latter is a lot harder to digest, and massively more hurtful.

From experience, you can break your TFs down in to basic types, of course these are the ones I seem to get stuck with all the time.


The Cadburys Flake

The TCF TF (I’m getting all corporate bullshitty with these codes aren’t i!) is my pet hate.

Consistently flaking on you, breaks promises, lets you down and then avoids confrontation about actions when all you want to do is ask “what’s your funking problem” right?

After doing some reading and research, it is believed that the TCF TFs behave in this manner because they themselves have been dumped on from a great height, probably at a time when they are still ‘finding themselves’ and are not tenacious enough to say NO! This isn’t how you behave! They then take this to be the norm of how friends treat each other and it manifests itself in to TCF behaviour in adulthood and once it’s there, it’s bloody hard to get rid of, a bit like a biro mark on your favourite white shirt.

How do you deal with a TCF? I’m still trying to work this one out myself. I’m too forgiving and placid to cut off my TCFs even though I know I should as it’s detrimental to me but I’m a sucker for 2nd chances, but when people hurt me and it knocks on to hurt my partner and our life, then theres got to be a line. In one particular case of TCF i tried revenge but that didn’t go to plan…. I’m still trying to keep said TCF at arms length and it is currently working.

A side variant of the TCF is the yo-yo TCF, the ones that come and go in short bursts, rapid contact and TCF activities and then nothing, then just like another flick of the wrist, the yo-yo returns to you, spinning away.

My next approach to TCF TFs is to force confrontation. I shall be trying to help the TCFs understand the consequences of their behaviour. No more 2nd chances and no more keeping it to myself.  “Of course, I understand that you’re not in the mood to go out, but I was really looking forward to our planned day and it’s not acceptable to leave me in the lurch.”

They need to know it’s a pattern and not a one-off. Maybe they don’t realise?  Who knows, but I shall tolerate it no more!

Spongebob

The SB is definitely the easier type of TF to endure. A little narcissitic, but tolerable

If your friendship was the Dakar rally, or a marathon (groan, exercise) then the SB does whittle away your will to live. It’s detrimental to your self-esteem if they don’t take the time to listen and certainly your pride if they are a Super Spongebob (SSB).

For you to feel good about yourself, valued as a friend, and for your friendship to thrive, you have to be more than an advice column, taxi or payroll. The Self-absorbed does not care; they listen to you because they are waiting to speak, or they socialise with you because they want a free pint.

We all love a bit of  self-absorbed chatter every now and then but for a SB is it a way of covering up an inability to tolerate silence which some, especially those who have intimacy problems, may find excruciating. Should you ask your SB to try and stop talking about themselves non-stop or ask if its a nervous habit designed to fill up the silent gaps?


If your SB or SSB is totally oblivious to how much of a pain in the arse they are, do you just grin and bear it, or maybe in a gentle way  this a trait your friend is aware of and choosing to ignore, or is she unaware of it but ask them if they notice the give / take balance is a little off balance. Now we all know you should never give to receive but it would be nice once in a while if the (S)SB asked what was going on in your life, or offer to buy you a drink for a change!

How are you meant to handle a (S)SB?  Just like the Jones’ below, their friendship ethos revolves around jealousy and eliteness, maybe if we all introduce our SB’s to our Jones’ then they will counteract each other.

Maybe they’d try to out do each other and they’d both explode? Hmm that would rock.


The Jones

A little bit of competition is healthy and to be expected. An appropriate amount of competition will motivate and stimulate. But too much competition between friends starts to destroy the friendship. One of the most important ingredients in a friendship is that one or both friends feel that they can be “themselves” and that they don’t have to put on an act to impress one another. Competition implies a race in which one wins and the other loses; those conditions are quite the opposite of what someone usually expects in a friendship. No one likes to be a loser right?

It’s worrying when you behave in your ‘normal’ manner but your Jones TF wants to continually try to out do you. Now, it may start off small or it may burst on to the scene with a big bang.

I do have one particular Jones TF (JTF, a bit like JFK but different) that is laughable. JTF cannot simply be happy for you that you’ve been gifted an item, worked hard to buy something, been somewhere, oh no! The JTF has to go one better, usually at an expense beyond their means. “Keeping up with the Jones’” is a dangerous game to play.

Said JTF has become well known in my friendship circles for their outlandish one upmanship to a point where their facebook status’ reads like a shopping list for a wannabe-wag with out any kind of knowledge or reasoning behind the behaviour other than “want want want have”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely to want to better yourself and progress but if seeing someone else’s proud achievements or new items but if it instantly sets of an “I’ll show you” reaction then are these the kind of friends you want to keep? Everyone loves to brag now and then but it’s when you “punch above your weight” and try to move in to circles you don’t move in that it worries me.

Friends should be pleased for you right? Not trying to outlandishly out do you. It’s a clear behavioural trait of a diminished self image, giving an incessant need to compete with everyone

Would raising the JTFs awareness about this tendency help her to deal with this proclivity? If you do want to share something that you think will propel her into a “me too” reaction, you could preface your comments, but then again, why should you?

Would this be classed as narcissistic too?


The Judge

Nothing you do, say, or wear is good enough for this overly critical friend. The Judge probably had extremely judgmental parents who were also rearing equally hypercritical spawn. Being criticized during their formative years laid the groundwork for a super critical adult. It’s a hard trait to reverse, and your Judgey mate may even be unaware that they are so critical and bitchy or that it annoys and upsets you so much.

The Gore

Have you ever been in a super serious situation such as a break up, illness, family situation and have a friend that keeps asking for every single tiny intimate detail about the situation but doesn’t actually offer any support or love? This is a big flashing waving banner of  the Gore TF!

They want to know all the gory details so that they can either fuel their own Judge or Jones’ interests but either way, as the “victim” it’s both annoying and hurtful and often you see some malicious offshoots of their interest.

You seem to open your heart up to the Gore and never get anything back in return.

The Gore sees you as an object of pity while you need friendly support. What they do with this knowledge and sense of pity is a whole different ball game depending on what other TF traits they have.

To throw in a personal experience, I fell out with a very dear friend over their Gore actions during a really serious time but they didn’t see what they were doing wrong. Couple that with their extreme Jones’ behaviour it was unbearable so I cut them off!

I do keep them hanging round on FB just for the lol-factor and as a firm believer in Karma, they’ve been bitten on the arse. What did I do? Gloat smugly? Stay away and not get involved? No, like the soft mug I am I offered some friendly advice and support. Well, that’s what they thought, I was using it as a perfect opportunity to wear my “been there done that, suck it up bitch” t shirt. (I should start selling these!)






As I’ve had a bit of a self indulgent whine about the crap sorts of people I come in to contact with, I hope you can all empathise with the type of Toxics out there. Maybe you have your own names and types?

As we get older, we can see people in a whole different light with much experience. We tend to expect more from our friends than we are ever likely to get.

I have found that the best kind of TF (if that’s possible) is the kind you can see from the start. No surprises, no pretences, what you see is what you get with full awareness. Go with your gut feelings, recognise when to forgive and forget, or call it a day and move on.

I have to say, I have an amazing group of close friends who I owe a lot too, and they all know who they are. The blonde one, the grown up one, the mental one, the arguer and the husband

Trampy
   XXX

Ding Dong….. but are the bells going to chime?

It’s rapidly approaching my 4th wedding anniversary (and our 9th year together) and it’s got me thinking, which makes a pleasant change from my usual vacuous state eh?!
Is marriage just a big jolly day out? Your wedding day is always referred to as the biggest day of your life. But is marriage an outdated institution in the 21st century or is it still relevant in today’s society? 
 
It’s the classic happy ending of every story, regardless of the medium, on paper, on the big screen, heavily lit on a west end stage or in an idle day dream while sitting on the 25a bus home.
The presiding message is that love is completed by marriage… and then followed by babies and the rest of your life together until the day you both check out.
Does anyone stop to think what happens at the end of the happy ending? What happens in the after part of happily ever after? No, I suspect not. It’s just an excuse for a big (and heinously expensive) family party. Would it not be cheaper to just have a big house party of hire out the local working men’s club?!!
But what happens after the happy ever after? Is marriage actually any more than just a nice day out for family and friends these days? 
When you turn on the telly or open a glossy magazine, the people pioneering this happily ending jolly wedded bliss only seem to last as long as it takes for the ink to dry on their Hello Magazine exclusive or the scabs to heal on their latest tattoo declaring their love. (Do you Remember Johnny Depps Wino Forever debacle or Angelina Jolie’s Billy Bob tattoo removal?)
Take for example, off the top of my head, Avril & Deryck, Chantelle & Preston or Cheryl and Ashley.
Standing there in your silly frock, in the eyes of the Lord / Law (depends what your flavour is), does ‘til death do us part’ really only mean “until I get bored, you get baby fat, take up golf, get a beer belly, I’ve spent all our money or we’ve had a small fight over the dishes”? If so, what’s the point in bothering in the first place eh?!
In a 2001 survey, marriage hit an all time low on a sweeping decline that started waaaaaaay back in the late 1890s!!  Over 1/3 of people surveyed believed marriage was an outdated institution.
It was also found the average age of men for getting married is 35 and for women it is 33
Marriage was originally set up as a business transaction moving the bride from one family to another, usually at great profit or value (think of dowries).
In days of yore, it bound the woman to the man with financial obligations, attaching her to her husband’s side, her only value and use was running a house hold, having his babies and making their new family unit. Back then, I suspect divorce did not exist as a man owned his wife, and if she wanted to leave she’d have no support, money or even a hope of doing so. Imagine how scary that would be if it was still the case. It’s not the case though thankfully and women are just as free as men, so in theory if women (both partners in fact) have the choice to leave, does this not render the concept of marriage as out dated?
In a quote from an article on Social Science from a Midlands University : 
 
‘Historically, the decline of religion is an important factor for the majority of the population. The idea of a union blessed by God with a spiritual element to it has decreased dramatically.’ 
In the current day and age it seems buying a house, getting a dog, booking a holiday in advance, getting shared car finance and ultimately having a baby are ‘the new black’…. the new terms of commitment over taking the concept or marriage.
My personal view on marriage  is that if you were truly committed to someone, love them and want to share the rest of your life with them, then you don’t need a ring and a ceremony and a piece of paper. 
Yes marriage gives financial security to couples should a split occur or children come along, but just because you’re married, it doesn’t seem to mean you’re together forever.
Hell, I never had those day dreams that most girls have in their childhood of the big fairy princess wedding, the big white poofy dress and my prince charming proposing on one knee. For reference… I always wanted a bad boy like Johnny Castle to stand up to my dad and say no one puts Katie in a corner and then we all have a jolly big dance party.. but you can see I wasn’t the normal stereotypical little girl and I don’t think the Wife could lift me over his head in a sweeping lift LOL
I got married at 23 but prior to that I didn’t see the point. It’s just a piece of paper and a metal ring isn’t it? I never thought I’d find someone I could tolerate for long enough, or love enough to consider marrying.
That all changed when he proposed. That was it, I enjoyed the traditional sense of commitment and pride that he did want to join with me in that “life long” unity. Although it took us 5yr to actually marry, I have no regrets for nodding to such an ‘archaic tradition’ as it really does feel forever and that’s how I intend to keep it. I will say I don’t need a small puce screaming bag of vomit to cement that bond. My shiny diamond ring and 3 cats will more than suffice!!!
My parents have a strong (and long) marriage so I have a good experience of the married world, but the wife comes from a divorced family. I don’t know if that has had an effect on his sense of commitment and made him want to get married to have the solid loving relationship his parents never had or give him the impression that marriage is something you can walk away from when you’re sick of putting the effort in to make your partner happy, I don’t know… but if he hadn’t proposed, I’d really like to believe we’d still be together which is nicely reassuring.
This said, many folk are together long term without needing to get married (like Ma & Pa Larkin from darling buds of may!!), if that works for you and you have your own forms of commitment then hats off to you. It’s a modern day concept of ‘marriage’ isn’t it, the words and attitudes change but at the end of the day, it’s still long term commitment… which is what marriage is.
Most people do believe in having a soul mate, one person that is so perfect for them that no one else could compare, and while at least one person out there still believes in marriage, I don’t think its something that will die out.
Trampy
    xx