Ding Dong….. but are the bells going to chime?

It’s rapidly approaching my 4th wedding anniversary (and our 9th year together) and it’s got me thinking, which makes a pleasant change from my usual vacuous state eh?!
Is marriage just a big jolly day out? Your wedding day is always referred to as the biggest day of your life. But is marriage an outdated institution in the 21st century or is it still relevant in today’s society? 
 
It’s the classic happy ending of every story, regardless of the medium, on paper, on the big screen, heavily lit on a west end stage or in an idle day dream while sitting on the 25a bus home.
The presiding message is that love is completed by marriage… and then followed by babies and the rest of your life together until the day you both check out.
Does anyone stop to think what happens at the end of the happy ending? What happens in the after part of happily ever after? No, I suspect not. It’s just an excuse for a big (and heinously expensive) family party. Would it not be cheaper to just have a big house party of hire out the local working men’s club?!!
But what happens after the happy ever after? Is marriage actually any more than just a nice day out for family and friends these days? 
When you turn on the telly or open a glossy magazine, the people pioneering this happily ending jolly wedded bliss only seem to last as long as it takes for the ink to dry on their Hello Magazine exclusive or the scabs to heal on their latest tattoo declaring their love. (Do you Remember Johnny Depps Wino Forever debacle or Angelina Jolie’s Billy Bob tattoo removal?)
Take for example, off the top of my head, Avril & Deryck, Chantelle & Preston or Cheryl and Ashley.
Standing there in your silly frock, in the eyes of the Lord / Law (depends what your flavour is), does ‘til death do us part’ really only mean “until I get bored, you get baby fat, take up golf, get a beer belly, I’ve spent all our money or we’ve had a small fight over the dishes”? If so, what’s the point in bothering in the first place eh?!
In a 2001 survey, marriage hit an all time low on a sweeping decline that started waaaaaaay back in the late 1890s!!  Over 1/3 of people surveyed believed marriage was an outdated institution.
It was also found the average age of men for getting married is 35 and for women it is 33
Marriage was originally set up as a business transaction moving the bride from one family to another, usually at great profit or value (think of dowries).
In days of yore, it bound the woman to the man with financial obligations, attaching her to her husband’s side, her only value and use was running a house hold, having his babies and making their new family unit. Back then, I suspect divorce did not exist as a man owned his wife, and if she wanted to leave she’d have no support, money or even a hope of doing so. Imagine how scary that would be if it was still the case. It’s not the case though thankfully and women are just as free as men, so in theory if women (both partners in fact) have the choice to leave, does this not render the concept of marriage as out dated?
In a quote from an article on Social Science from a Midlands University : 
 
‘Historically, the decline of religion is an important factor for the majority of the population. The idea of a union blessed by God with a spiritual element to it has decreased dramatically.’ 
In the current day and age it seems buying a house, getting a dog, booking a holiday in advance, getting shared car finance and ultimately having a baby are ‘the new black’…. the new terms of commitment over taking the concept or marriage.
My personal view on marriage  is that if you were truly committed to someone, love them and want to share the rest of your life with them, then you don’t need a ring and a ceremony and a piece of paper. 
Yes marriage gives financial security to couples should a split occur or children come along, but just because you’re married, it doesn’t seem to mean you’re together forever.
Hell, I never had those day dreams that most girls have in their childhood of the big fairy princess wedding, the big white poofy dress and my prince charming proposing on one knee. For reference… I always wanted a bad boy like Johnny Castle to stand up to my dad and say no one puts Katie in a corner and then we all have a jolly big dance party.. but you can see I wasn’t the normal stereotypical little girl and I don’t think the Wife could lift me over his head in a sweeping lift LOL
I got married at 23 but prior to that I didn’t see the point. It’s just a piece of paper and a metal ring isn’t it? I never thought I’d find someone I could tolerate for long enough, or love enough to consider marrying.
That all changed when he proposed. That was it, I enjoyed the traditional sense of commitment and pride that he did want to join with me in that “life long” unity. Although it took us 5yr to actually marry, I have no regrets for nodding to such an ‘archaic tradition’ as it really does feel forever and that’s how I intend to keep it. I will say I don’t need a small puce screaming bag of vomit to cement that bond. My shiny diamond ring and 3 cats will more than suffice!!!
My parents have a strong (and long) marriage so I have a good experience of the married world, but the wife comes from a divorced family. I don’t know if that has had an effect on his sense of commitment and made him want to get married to have the solid loving relationship his parents never had or give him the impression that marriage is something you can walk away from when you’re sick of putting the effort in to make your partner happy, I don’t know… but if he hadn’t proposed, I’d really like to believe we’d still be together which is nicely reassuring.
This said, many folk are together long term without needing to get married (like Ma & Pa Larkin from darling buds of may!!), if that works for you and you have your own forms of commitment then hats off to you. It’s a modern day concept of ‘marriage’ isn’t it, the words and attitudes change but at the end of the day, it’s still long term commitment… which is what marriage is.
Most people do believe in having a soul mate, one person that is so perfect for them that no one else could compare, and while at least one person out there still believes in marriage, I don’t think its something that will die out.
Trampy
    xx

Just as beautiful? Who decides?

Now I’m not normally one, despite being “plus size” myself, to buy in to the hype of size 0 vs 14+ but I have heard about a new magazine focusing solely on curvy ladies, even down to the adverts inside only featuring lovely curvy ladies.

I’m liking the press snippets so far as it seems all the ladies have a retro, 50s ish feel to them which I just love! Curvy AND retro ladies… *swoon*

Seems there has been hell on over this new mag if you take the Daily Mail’s article comments as it promotes obesity and validates an unhealthy lifestyle. Well I think that’s tosh. Being Rubenesque doesn’t mean you live on a diet of liquid pies! No doubt it’s the bigotted elitist folk who think the size 0 culture is fine but anything bigger… you might as well stay in the house and not dare leave.

I think it’s important to, hmm, maybe not encourage people to continue in an unhealthy lifestyle but important to show them that everyone should embrace their looks, size, ethnicity etc. Nowt worst than flicking through Glamour magazine and realising none of the outfits will fit anyone with the breasts of an adult and not a pre pubescent boy. It’s great for giving women exposure to new things and showing them there *IS* alternatives to the crappy shite clothes and features that most magazines think us ‘fat lasses’ want to see !!!

The magazine is called Just as beautiful and I will be buying it just to check it out for interest. If the magazine is rubbish I can always pass it on to my mate..”Retro Boy” he seems to have a pretty strong penchant for curvy ladies !!! I’m sure Radio Man will enjoy the gratuitous boob-age too!
Trampy 
   xx

Day 1 in the Trampy Lady house…..

So, here we go then. My first entry in to my new blog!! Eee how exciting is this!
 
Let’s give you a bit of background, I am 27, weigh more than I should and I’m slightly neurotic but thanks to the encouragement from “Radio Man”, “Long Suffering Friend” and my husband who will now be known as “The Wife” here I find myself.
 
I need somewhere to chronicle my journey to being a lady (queue Little Britain sound bites) to keep me on the straight and narrow and hopefully review any products, treatments, brands I find along the way that’s helped me or amazed me as a lot of this will all be new to me, and probably new to quite a few other people out there too. It also means ‘LSF’ no longer needs to listen to me whinge in jealousy at her latest TUKs or pretty going out skirts! *shakes a jealous fist*
I’m a tom boy, buy more leopard print than is healthy and obsessed with all things 1950s. I’m heavily pierced and have a few tattoos. This is not a good combination, trust me. I can’t walk in heels, I am not lady like enough to wear skirts and my handbags scream “circus clown” more than demure grown up chic and none of my bras match my knickers either. I am pretty obsessive over my hair and make up though. I’ve learnt I have to be after years of skin break outs, scalp blisters and straw like hair!

I’m stuck in a rut in my late 20s, No longer able to pull off the baggy jeans, pink mohawk and  clubbing 4 nights a week… not quite ready to let that go in exchange for pearls and twinsets either yet. So as I type, I’m in hippy limbo without a clue on where to go next !!!

The big 3-0 is my lady like deadline. By the time I hit 30 I hope to : 
 
1) Have beautifully healthy shiny bouncy hair in a natural(ish) colour. REMEDY – stop DIY bleaching my hair to a platinum-esque colour and condition more. Stop home cutting too.
2) Be groomed and have healthy nourished skin. REMEDY – Start actually using something more than water and baby wipes to take care of my super sensitive skin. Stop being a pikey and actually pay some money out for decent brands instead of shite in nice bottles.
3) Be able to spend a full day in high heels. REMEDY – Get practising!
 
4) Lose tonnes of weight and be a super svelte glamorous 50s pin up. REMEDY – Weight Watchers here I come baby!


5) Stop swearing like a drunk sailor and having more decorum. REMEDY…. not a clue LOL 



I have just over 3 yr and my journey starts here, and boy do I feel like Eliza Doolittle …….

Trampy Lady
         xx